Halloween is this week, and if you’re like many people in “this town,” you’ve got a lot on your plate to do before your Halloween party rolls around. Luckily, with these ideas, your last-minute costume can make sense to those inside the Beltway.
Wear a tall hat and white robe and kiss the foreheads of a select few friends. You’re #PopeinDC.
Paint on a nose and whiskers, add a tail and ears, and offer cups of coffee to people. You’re the Crumbs & Whiskers cat café.
Don a blue vest with buttons, carry a clipboard, and tell everyone you meet about an obscure social cause you really care about. You’re a DC street canvasser.
Wear some thick round glasses, glue feathers to your head, and attack anyone who comes close to you with your nails. You’re the aggressive Bethesda owl.
March around with a picket sign demanding less smoke and less havoc. You’re the founder of the new WMATA Rider’s Union.
Wear a business suit and mention vague descriptions for a “fantastic new job opportunity.” You’re the hiring manager for the new Speaker of the House position.
Carry a tray of egg benedicts, bacon, and mimosas. Don’t wear pants. You’re a bottomless brunch.
Hand out flyers for civic association meetings. Tell everyone and anyone that they’re too loud, about crime that happened two blocks over last night, or that you have an Ikea coffee table you’re getting rid of. You’re a DC neighborhood listserv.
Wear a white beanie and a silver grille on your teeth. You’re the Capitol building under construction.